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Then she left and got a piece for herself, along with everyone else. We also had soda and water there for people to drink. Luckily no one we know of put those pieces together. Then as at just every wedding that's not done at a courthouse, it was time for the toasts. First Tim stood up."Hello my name is Tim, the best man. I was a good friend of the groom growing up. I just recently found out he found out he was engaged. But I've been told this relationship hasn't been too long. So obviously they really hit it off. Good for them. I wish I met her at least a couple days before this, but all the greats can just take things out of thin air and made something funny right? Well like his girlfriends in high school, he's taller than this one too. Maybe he's just afraid of a tall commitment," Tim said.He got some laughs there, but not many."Well anyway, Judy it was really nice to meet you. If he did all this for you, either he really loves you or maybe sleep just isn't an option every now and. But she wasn’t with him mentally. She didn’t tell him her fears anymore, she wouldn’t tell him her problems, or when she wanted to do something dangerous. She wouldn’t tell him her worries. She would talk with him but not about anything really important or about her. She still laughed with him, but her laugh was different, it didn’t have the same life, the same spark. She didn’t want to tell him her struggles anymore. She didn’t want him to worry about her, didn’t want him to know just how far her self-hatred really went. How deeply rooted in her mind it really was. How every time anyone got just a little glimpse of it, they would tell her that she scared them. She couldn’t do that to him…. But she already had…. And she hated herself for that. She had scared him once already, let him see the one mark she had made, the first mark she had made in months. A mark she made because those feelings she tries to hide so deep came clawing back to the surface. Feelings she thought she had.
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